Navigating Tricky Relationships

Relationships are complicated at times. Dealing with challenging relationships can be tough, especially when you’re figuring out so much about yourself and others. Whether it’s with friends, family, or romantic relationships, these challenges can feel overwhelming. Sometimes, it’s hard to know where things went wrong or how to fix them, and that can leave you feeling stuck, confused, or hurt.

Relationships can get complicated for a bunch of reasons. People grow and change, and sometimes that means they no longer click the way they used to. Miscommunication or misunderstandings happen a lot, too – where one person thinks they’re being clear, but the other person takes it in a completely different way. There’s also pressure from outside sources, like friends or social media, that can add to the tension. Maybe someone feels left out, or maybe you're feeling like you’re always the one trying to keep things together.

Common Challenges

Miscommunication: One of the most common reasons relationships get tricky is because of how we communicate. You might say something jokingly, but the other person takes it seriously. Or you feel like you’re not being heard when you really need support. People have different communication styles, and this can lead to conflict.

Different expectations: Sometimes, the issue is that you and the other person want different things. Maybe your friend expects you to always hang out, but you need space. Or maybe in a romantic relationship, one person wants more commitment than the other.

Jealousy and comparisons: Seeing friends or partners spend time with others can bring up feelings of jealousy or make you compare yourself to others. Social media can worsen this because it feels like everyone is showing off perfect friendships or relationships, even when that’s not the reality.

Changing priorities: As you grow, your interests and priorities shift. This can sometimes make it hard to stay close to people who were once super important to you but are now on a different path.

How to handle these challenges

The good news is that, while relationships can be hard, there are ways to handle these challenges without completely losing your connection with someone.

Communication is key: Talk openly and honestly about what’s bothering you. It can feel scary, but holding things in usually makes it worse. Try starting with what you feel and then state what you need:

  • You made a joke, but your friend took it the wrong way, and now things feel awkward.

    “I’ve been feeling like we’re not on the same page, and I’m hoping we can talk about it.”

  • You’ve been going through a rough time, but your partner hasn’t been there for you in the way you hoped.

    “I’ve been feeling kind of alone lately, and I was hoping we could talk about how we support each other. I’d love to share how I’ve been feeling.”

  • You’re working on a project with friends, but someone didn’t do their part, and now there’s tension.

    “I know we’ve all been busy, but I was hoping we could talk about how we’re splitting up the work. I want to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

  • Your roommates haven’t been paying their portion of the bills on time.

    “I get that life is expensive right now, but I’m feeling stressed that we aren’t paying our bills on time, and I’m hoping we can have a house meeting to make a plan.

Set boundaries: It’s okay to set limits on how much time or energy you’re putting into a relationship. Boundaries are healthy and necessary, even with close friends or family members.

  • A close friend expects you to hang out every day, but you need time for yourself or other responsibilities.

    “I love hanging out, but I’ve been feeling like I need more time to focus on my own stuff. Maybe we can find a balance?”

  • A sibling keeps going through your things without asking, and it’s frustrating you.

    “I know you probably don’t mean any harm, but I really need my space respected. Can we agree that you’ll ask before taking anything?”

  • Your partner gets upset when you don’t respond to texts right away, even when you’re busy with school or work.

    “I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed by how much we’re texting. I think it would be good for both of us to have some space to focus on other things, too.”

Give and take: Relationships are about balance. You shouldn’t always be the one giving or the one taking. If you notice it’s becoming one-sided, it might be time to reevaluate things or have a conversation about finding that balance again.

  • You notice you’re always making an effort to plan things while your friend doesn’t put in the same energy.

    “I’ve been thinking about how I’m always the one setting up plans. I’d love for you to take the lead sometimes, too – it’d make me feel like we’re both putting in effort.”

  • Your friend constantly vents to you, but when you try to talk about your issues, they seem distracted or disinterested or turn the conversation back to themselves. 

    “I’m always here to listen to you, but sometimes I feel like it's not the same when I need to talk. Can we work on supporting each other better?”

  • Your partner always chooses what to do when you hang out, and you feel like your interests are being ignored.

     “I really enjoy spending time with you, but I feel like we don’t do much of the things I like. Can we try alternating who picks what we do?”

Take a step back: Sometimes, the best way to handle a complicated relationship is to take a break. If things are getting too intense or causing you a lot of stress, stepping away for a bit to think things over can help give you clarity.

  • You’re in the middle of a big argument with a friend, and emotions are running high, making it hard to communicate.

    “I think we both need a break from this conversation. Let’s cool off and come back to it when we’re both calmer.”

  • You’ve been spending a lot of time with your significant other, but it’s starting to feel overwhelming, and you need a little distance.

     “I’ve been feeling like I need a bit more space lately. It doesn’t mean I care any less – I just want to make sure we both have time for ourselves, too.”

  • The vibe in your friend group has been off, but you don’t want to confront it just yet without knowing what’s really going on.

     “I’ve been feeling like things have been weird with the group. I think I need a little time to figure out how I feel before we talk about it.”

Let go: Unfortunately, not all relationships are meant to last forever. If someone is toxic, hurtful, or simply no longer a positive part of your life, it’s okay to walk away. It’s tough, but your well-being comes first.

  • You’ve tried to address hurtful behavior with a friend several times, but nothing changes, and it’s affecting your well-being.

    “I’ve been trying to work things out between us, but I don’t feel like things are getting better. I think it’s best for me to take a step back from this friendship.”

  • Your relationship with your partner has become unhealthy, and you’ve realized it’s time to move on for your own well-being.

    “This relationship has been really important to me, but I don’t feel like it’s healthy for either of us anymore. I think it’s time we go our separate ways.”

  • You’re working a job, and a coworker keeps taking credit for your ideas or makes passive-aggressive comments about your work despite you trying to address it.

    "Hey, I’ve noticed a pattern where my ideas get overlooked, and you’ve made some comments that feel off to me. I’ve tried to address it, but it doesn’t seem like we’re on the same page. I think it’d be best if we just focused on our own tasks so we can both get things done without extra stress."