Trauma

The word “trauma” is sometimes overused – in social media posts and in everyday conversations – to describe events that are shocking and upsetting. But actual trauma is about going through something really hard or painful that leaves a deep mark on you emotionally or mentally.

If something intense, often life-changing, happens and even after it’s over, you still feel the impact. It might show up as anxiety, sadness, or feeling angry for no clear reason. Or maybe you avoid things that remind you of what happened, even if it’s something minor, like a smell or sound.

Sometime, trauma makes you feel stuck in those moments, like your mind is replaying the event, or you can’t shake the feelings that came with it

The thing about trauma is it affects everyone differently. You might wonder, " Why does this bother me so much when it didn’t affect someone else the same way?” But everyone’s experience is valid. Trauma can come from one major event — maybe an accident, the death of someone close, experiencing violence — or even smaller, repeated things that build up over time, like bullying or living in a stressful environment.

Trauma doesn’t mean you’re broken. It’s a response to something you’ve been through, and there are ways to heal. Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or mental health provider, can be a huge first step. Healing might take time – sometimes a lot of time – but you don’t have to go through it alone, and feeling better is possible.

  • You can start by acknowledging how difficult it is for you.

    • “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something important, but it’s really hard for me.”

    • “This is tough to share, but I feel like I need to talk about it.”

  • You don’t need to share every detail at once. Start by explaining that something happened, and you’re struggling with how it’s affecting you:

    • “There’s something that’s been on my mind a lot. I went through something really hard, and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

    • “Something happened that’s been bothering me for a while, and I think I need to talk about it.”

  • Sometimes, you might just want someone to listen rather than try to fix things. 

    • “I don’t need you to fix anything, I just need someone to hear me.”

    • “I don’t have all the answers, but I just need to talk about what happened.”

  • If talking about trauma feels overwhelming, start small. Share what you feel comfortable with, and remember, you don’t have to tell the whole story at once. You can say:

    • “I’m not ready to share all the details, but I wanted to let you know that I’ve been dealing with something really tough.”

    • “I might not explain everything today, but this is a start.”

How to talk about trauma

Opening up about trauma is a brave and important step, and there’s no “right” way to do it. You can go at your own pace, and feeling nervous or unsure is okay. What matters most is reaching out for support when you’re ready.

If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.

This service is confidential, free, and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In life-threatening situations, call 911.